Healing work can take a lot out of you, so it’s important to find balance in your life by taking good care of your needs. Sometimes in the process of becoming an adult, we forget how to do that. As children, this is much clearer, we let people know when we are hungry, we sleep whenever we need to, and it becomes really obvious when our needs are not met. However, as we become adults, we are trained to not express ourselves in the way that children do, and in the process, we can inadvertently start to ignore our own needs.
Sometimes when we think of self-care we might think of scented candles, bubble baths, a massage, or a spa day. Or maybe even a game of golf or shopping. While those things can be truly wonderful remedies to relieve stress, we don’t all have time or money to do them every day. Self-care strategies to support healing work are things that we can do in our everyday lives. They might be a lot less exciting and glamorous than popular media might have you believe.
What do you need to take care of yourself?
To support your heart, start listening to your body – do you need a nap, a walk, a shower, dancing to your favorite music, a hug, connecting with a friend, or deep rest?
Check in with how you are doing on the basics: food, sleep, hydration, exercise. Sometimes our lives are so busy we forget to eat well, get enough sleep, drink enough water, and get enough exercise. These components might seem really basic, yet they are critical to ensuring your optimal wellbeing. Emotional work can require a lot of energy, so having a solid foundation of nourishment, hydration, rest, and movement in your life can really support this journey and ensure you stay balanced through it all. Otherwise, the emotional processing can take its toll and start to feel overwhelming or draining. What we want to achieve with healing work is the opposite – a release, a relief, providing energy and freedom on the other side.
Hydrate
Hydrate. Drinking enough water can really support the healing process. Feeling tired? Drink water. Feeling down? Drink water. It might not be an instant cure to everything, but it will help everything function better if you stay hydrated. Your skin will thank you as well.
2- Food
Eating well for vitality could prompt you to look at any habits that might need to shift – caffeine, alcohol, sugar? It might also mean balancing your blood sugar with protein by making some changes to your food habits. Bringing your awareness to how and what you eat can help you to feel grounded, nourished, and energized, to support your healing journey. Don’t get me wrong, it is not always easy to change a lifelong habit related to food, especially when it’s something you do every day, if it’s a cultural or family tradition, yet making one small shift at a time might make all the difference in how you feel. Experiment!
3- Sleep
Sleep – this one is really huge. Everyone is slightly different in how much sleep they need, yet the quality of sleep is also important. There is a whole lot of wisdom and literature on this topic that we won’t get into here, so to begin, start taking note of how long you sleep every night, how you slept, and how you feel upon waking, and throughout the day. If you are consistently not getting enough high-quality sleep, it can be critical to investigate this further with a healthcare professional. Sleep is the bedrock of mental and physical wellness. Therefore mentioned bubble bath or a visit to the rec centre to soak in the hottub can help you to get the deep rest your body needs.
4. Move your body
Finally, getting enough movement or exercise every day is an important habit to build vitality. Research shows that getting out for a 30 minute walk every day makes a huge difference. It can support your energy levels and getting sleep, as well as many other benefits to physical and mental health. It’s important that you choose a type of movement or exercise that you enjoy, so that you can sustainably and consistently do it every day. This will support the emotional healing process by moving it through your body.
5. Breathe
Next is breathing. We don’t often pay a lot of attention to our breathing; it is mostly an unconscious process, which serves the vital function of keeping us alive. Since it’s so important, it is worth paying attention to how you are breathing. There are many different breathing techniques and types of breathwork out there, from mindfulness, yoga, martial arts, dance, etc. What they all have in common is that they help you become aware of your breathing. The great thing is that it is available to you in each and every moment, no matter what you are doing. Just focus on the breath: is it shallow? Am I holding it? Can I breathe slower, longer, deeper? Just bringing awareness to the breath is the most critical element of meditation, mindfulness, yoga, and many other mind-body techniques or exercises.
6. Spend time in nature
This one is like magic: if you can, go outside, and spend some real time getting fresh air and communing with nature. Listen to the birds, feel the wind in your hair, watch the trees. You might feel better right away, and you might only notice it within the next few days, but it is guaranteed to have a calming effect on your nervous system.
7. Journalling
There are also a few tools that can help you function in the day to day while you are on your healing journey – there is much said about the power of journalling – you can get your thoughts out on paper so that you don’t have to walk around with them. And this is available to you at any time, when you might not want to talk to someone.
8. Set limits
You can also set a timer on worrying: allot yourself X number of minutes to worry and get it all out of your system, and when the timer goes, let it go, so that you don’t keep walking around ruminating. Setting limits on your (social media) consumption can also work this way. Saying “no” to social commitments and obligations when you are not feeling up to it is an important way of setting limits as well. Clear the calendar and clear your mind so that you have time for rest and taking care of yourself.
9. Do your chores
When you spend less time worrying and on social media, you could be spending the time getting things done that you may have been putting off, and that are taking up mental real estate or emotional bandwidth. Self-care also includes doing the things you don’t want to do, like paying bills, or doing laundry. Getting it done will be satisfying, and procrastinating can drain your energy.
10. Get creative
Find a creative hobby that nurtures your soul. Self-expression can take place in many forms – woodworking, home decoration, writing, singing, drawing, making music, dancing, floral arrangements, curating new outfits, etc. etc. it can be something that is right in front of you. We are all naturally creative, we are all born artists. Expression is a human need, and our souls long to be nourished through creativity.
11. Have fun with friends
Finally, start building a supportive network, and spend time with good friends. Reflect on who in your life is good at listening and who gives you energy, who do you learn from? How do you feel after spending time with them? Sometimes doing something nice for someone or helping someone, even if it’s a stranger, can help you to feel better about yourself, and the good deed will help them feel better, too. There are many articles that cite research showing 13 hugs a day can support optimal wellbeing. So if you are a hugger, you are lucky to live in Canada where hugging is a common greeting among friends and family.
12. Gratitude
I know this is a long list and it may seem like a tall order to do them all every day, but listening and tuning into your body’s needs will tell you which one needs a bit of attention in the moment, and if nothing else seems possible right now, then write down three things you are grateful for. Cultivating a gratitude practice can bring about all kinds of beautiful changes in your life and pretty soon you will be doing all the things on this list.
At the end of a session, when I say, “take good care of yourself”, now you know that this is what I mean.
About the author
Suzanne is a Student Intern at Your Story Counselling Services, as part of the Master of Social Work program. Suzanne aims to hold space with empathy and compassion, to provide a space to work through a range of challenges that life can bring with it (i.e. relational issues, depression and anxiety, trauma, grief, communication and boundary setting, burnout, parenting and chronic illness). She works with a trauma-informed, feminist, decolonial and 2SLGBTQIAA+ affirming lens.
Interested in booking with Suzanne? Book here: https://www.yourstorycounselling.com/suzanne-nievaart
To learn more about the Your Story Counselling Team and the services we offer click here.
If you have additional questions regarding the contents of this article please feel free to contact us and we will be happy to answer you.
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